Jonathan Swift

Come, fairest princess of the throng, / Bring sweet philosophy along, / In metaphysick dreams; / While raptur'd bards no more behold / A vernal age of purer gold, / In Heliconian streams.

O, heavenly born! in deepest dells / If fairest science ever dwells / Beneath the mossy cave; / Indulge the verdure of the woods, / With azure beauty gild the floods, / And flowery carpets lave.

For, melancholy ever reigns / Delighted in the sylvan scenes / With scientifick light; / While Dian, huntress of the vales, / Seeks lulling sounds and fanning gales, / Though wrapt from mortal sight.

[W]hatever Word or Sentence is Printed in a different Character, shall be judged to contain something extraordinary either of Wit or Sublime.

My little Friend Grildrig, you have made a moſt admirable Panegyrick upon your Country: […]

Here I discovered the secret Causes of many great Events that have surprized the World, how a Whore can govern the Back-stairs, the Back-stairs a Council, and the Council a Senate.

The People who had often heard of me, were very curious to croud about the Sedan, and the Girl was complaisant enough to make the Bearers stop, and to take me in her Hand that I might be conveniently seen.

But their manner of writing is very peculiar, being neither from the left to the right, like the Europeans; nor from the right to the left, like the Arabians; nor from up to down, like the Chinese; nor from down to up, like the Cascagians; but aslant from one Corner of the Paper to the other, like Ladies in England.

I was at the Mathematical School, where the Master taught his Pupils after a Method scarce imaginable to us in Europe. The Proposition and Demonstration were fairly written on a thin Wafer, with Ink composed of a Cephalick Tincture. This the Student was to swallow upon a fasting Stomach, and for three days following eat nothing but Bread and Water. As the Wafer digested, the Tincture mounted to his Brain, bearing the Proposition along with it.

And it was peculiar in their Temper, that they were fonder of what they could get by Rapine or Stealth at a greater distance, than much better Food provided for them at home.

He first took my Altitude by a Quadrant, and then with Rule and Compasses, described the Dimensions and Out-lines of my whole Body, all which he enter'd upon Paper, and in six days brought my Clothes very ill made, and quite out of shape, by happening to mistake a Figure in the Calculation.

At an old stubborn Root I chanc’d to tug, / When the Dean threw me this Tobacco-plug: / A longer ha’p’orth never did I see; / This, dearest Sheelah, thou shalt share with me.